Whether you are a new teacher or have a few years under your belt, working as an elementary music teacher can be emotionally scary and draining. I remember struggling with so many thoughts and fears early on in my career. “What if the other teachers don’t like me?” “How will I handle planning lessons AND concerts at the same time?” “What if my programs turn out awful?!” If you are a new teacher struggling with fear or a returning teacher who still doesn’t feel peace at work, this is the post for you!
Over the years, I have learned that going into the school year with a plan and a healthy mindset can go a LONG way towards a healthy emotional state. Here is a list of 4 strategies to help you gain a more peaceful life at work.
1. Choose 2 or 3 goals for your school year
Narrowing down your list of goals allows you to stay focused on the most important things throughout your year. What are the main things you want to accomplish as a music teacher? When you look back at your career, what do you want to have accomplished? My #1 goal each year was to make the students feel loved. I felt that if I did this and everything else turned out a disaster, the year would still have been a success. My #2 goal was for my students to master two musical skills: basic rhythm reading and naming the lines and spaces on the staff. There is a lot more to music than those two skills, but choosing this goal enabled me to ensure that these skills were mastered by all grade levels each and every year. It also prevented me from accidentally spending too much time on other musical concepts and not enough time on these two fundamentals. What are your goals for this school-year?
2. Practice saying “no”
Choosing goals can make it easier to say “no” at the appropriate times. When someone asks you to do something, ask yourself, will this help me to achieve my main goals for the year? Will saying “yes” take too much focus away from one of my goals? For example, because one of my goals was to spend adequate time teaching students about rhythms and notes, I was careful not to take on too many extra performance opportunities. I had roughly 6 school and district-wide performances each year. Many of you know that it is difficult to teach curriculum while a grade is preparing for a performance, so when those extra requests for students to sing at sporting events or community ceremonies came up, I made sure to consider how much time it would take away from those core concepts.
3. Spend some money
Let me just preface this next point by saying that I am seriously the most frugal person on planet Earth. My husband and I hold to a strict budget (mostly in an effort to pay off our student loans), and we never spend money we don’t have. However, when I look back at my first few years of teaching, I am pretty sure my frugality added a TON of stress to my life as a teacher. I spent countless hours lesson planning, simplifying my district’s curriculum, creating assessments, and planning programs. I lost loads of sleep and time with the people I loved, and I gained a lot of anxiety and stress. I am grateful for the resources I created early on, but I honestly don’t know if I would do it again.
I know that extra money is hard to come by for teachers, but try to find an extra $20 here or $50 there. Maybe you could avoid eating out for a few weeks or avoid the mall for a while. There is nothing wrong with creating some resources for your classroom, but doing what I did, and creating EVERYTHING from scratch is so stressful!
4. Reflect upon where you get your worth.
Although I put this last, I think it is most important. In my work as a counselor, I often noticed that the areas people worried and stressed about the most also happened to be areas from which they derived the most worth. In my early twenties, I felt that I needed to be successful to be “okay.” As a student, that meant getting A’s. As a friend, that meant being the “life of the party.” And as a teacher, that meant always having control over my classes, putting on flawless programs, and receiving perfect evaluations from my administrator. Ironically for me, I failed at most of those things during my first few years as an elementary music teacher. Since my idea of personal worth was tied up in these failures, I found myself in a state of deep sadness and anxiety.
I frantically raced to hold everything together. I worked late hours, put on a happy face in front of my colleagues, and planned extravagant programs. But I still felt uneasy, anxious, worried, sad, and unsettled deep down. Looking back now, my problem wasn’t my job, it was me. I had learned to love myself only if I “performed” well. And when I finally started failing, well, what was left to love?
Of course, now I know that there is so much more to me than my performance at a job, my grades in school, the number of friends I have, or how I look. It took me many years and a relationship with Jesus before I could truly believe it, but it is the truth for me and for you. I hope that you will do some reflecting into your own heart before you go back to work this year or this week. Ask yourself, what do you truly believe about yourself? Are you only valuable if you excel at your job or if you are the most popular person in your building? Let me know in the comment section below what you discover!
Thank you so much for your words of wisdom and the kindness behind it. I was asked to be a temporary music teacher in a catholic school. I do not have a degree in music but because I have put on some great music programs with the children and absolutely love them, the lack of budget for the arts, ive been grandfathered in. I want to keep the music going but feel completely inadequate to teach them.! I am aways on the internet looking for lessons I am comfortable enough to teach the kids. I am in my fifties and have pre-k -5 but they just asked me to take on 6-8 for performance purposes only. The school is very program heavy including Masses. Can you advise? Are your lesson plan bundles simple enough for someone with no experience? I was a professional entertainer in my 20s and 30s, so I do know about singing and pitch, as well as lines and spaces
I’m so sorry for my long email, I just don’t want them to lose the musc program
Hi Kerry! You are very welcome. I know how scary it can be. Your situation sounds very difficult in so many ways! I think I might have just responded to your question about my lessons via email, but to re-iterate, if you can read music, perform simple rhythms in 4/4 time, know the names of the lines and spaces on the staff, and have basic knowledge of music terms (dynamics, tempo, repeat sign, crescendo, decrescendo, fermata, etc) then I think you would do okay with the lessons. It’s actually possible that you could learn those facts by reading the lessons, know that I think about it! You would need access to basic percussion instruments (rhythm sticks, hand drums, etc) and a few Orff instruments are required for a few lessons also. You might not be able to use all the lessons, but there would be a significant number that would still be useful to you.
Okay, now for the important part. If your school is program heavy, let me give you permission to focus a lot of energy during class on preparing students for the programs. It is VERY difficult to teach curriculum AND prepare students for a program at the same time. My philosophy has always been to have a healthy balance, but if the parents and staff at your school have come to expect a large number of extravagant programs, then you might not have a choice. If that is the case, then pair down the curriculum. That means taking #1 to heart and focusing your energy on students mastering a few basic musical concepts. That could be performing basic rhythms, the lines and spaces, solfege, etc. But I would not try to teach EVERYTHING, especially not now when you are still trying to get the hang of things. Some things you could limit might be units on composers, music careers, improvisation, opposites, instrument families, etc. Those concepts are all important, but your situation will require you to prioritize and give yourself a break, in my opinion.
I have never taught 6-8 grades, so I don’t have a whole lot of expertize there. You might consider treating these grades as if they were a middle school choir class. This would also mean that classes would be heavily focused around preparing the repertoire for programs and teaching students to sight sing. There is a middle school music teacher on TPT named “Music in the Middle with Mr D” who has a whole series of products on teaching middle school students how to sight-sing. He also has a great blog with video of him teaching students of that age.
I won’t make you answer this question publically, but I would also be curious to know if you are being compensated fairly for the position (since you mentioned a lack of budget for the arts) and if you are being required to teach any other subjects. It is part of a music teacher’s job to put on programs, but I think there is a limit to this. If you are prepping for 9 grades and being expected to put on a large number of programs (and possibly other duties or classes that you didn’t mention) it might be good to start considering areas you could say “no” to. Or at minimum, you might consider combining multiple grade levels into each program to minimize the number of programs you have to plan.
Wow that was long! Just remember to be kind to yourself this year. It is not your responsibility to pump out musical geniuses or to keep your school’s music program going. Your only job is to love your students and to make music something they enjoy. Oh, and to be kind to yourself.
Feel free to shoot me an email if you want to chat more, or you can respond on here. Either is fine with me!
Emily
Hi, Emily.
I’ve read your post once before and came back to it tonight, not on accident, I believe. Thank you for encouraging this first-year teacher…I struggle with perfectionism and put unnecessary stress on myself sometimes. I’m ready to go in to work tomorrow morning with that same number one goal–to love each student and show them God’s love. 🙂 Thank you for reminding me.
Allison
I just teared up a little while I was reading you comment, Allison. Thank you for taking the time to let me know that my post helped you. It makes all the hours I put into writing them seem so worth it. I understand about the tendency to be a perfectionist. Our focus and priorities can get out of order so easily. I hope that reminder helps you and your students tomorrow and this week. Please feel free to stay in touch. I would love to know how the rest of your year goes.
Just what I need to read tonight. I have returned to teaching Elementary Music from taking a 10 year break to be with my girls. I am struggling so much with the need to have my classes under control all the time, have my administration be happy with my performance, have super fun lessons and now put on an amazing Christmas concert. Hoping to head into the school tomorrow with a new resolve to just do my best. I love the comments of others, to just love each child the best that I can. I constantly review the day and beat myself up about how I handled situations in the day. This is definitely something that will take time for me to learn and be ok with failure!
Aw, I used to beat myself up too. Now you will have the added challenge of not beating yourself when you don’t improve right away. It really does take time to change habits, but it is possible! Just remember that it is normal to struggle after a long period of absence, and a lot of your mistakes with classroom management and concerts will work themselves out over time (even though it’s probably hard to believe right now). I also hope that you have an understanding staff and administration. I have found that dealing with imperfection as a new or returning teacher is even more challenging when you feel judgement from people in your building. I will be thinking about you this week and praying that you are able to start focusing on loving your kids (and yourself). Feel free to keep in touch 🙂
This is a great post, Emily, with good things to consider whether you’re a graduating music education student or a veteran music teacher. I find that for teachers like myself who must teach music from a cart, your point #4 is HUGE! Having your classroom taken away really makes you question your value as a teacher. But classroom or no classroom, it seems musicians/music teachers in general can be pretty hard on themselves 🙂 You want to have that successful lesson, rehearsal, whatever and when things don’t go as planned, you feel like a failure. Your point about knowing the truth of who you are and your self-worth, regardless of circumstances, is so important…thanks for sharing this!
Yes, that is true. I could see how not having a classroom would make a person feel less important that other teachers. And it is definitely difficult to avoid getting too caught up in the sound and performance of the students. I know I used to OBSESS over performances…not healthy! Thanks for taking the time to read my post, Danielle!
Dear Emily,
I am a new teacher having a really rough year due to an incredibly demanding middle school and high school position. I’ve come to find throughout the year that this position is not right for me and will be moving to Elementary next year but I have been contemplating if I can even teach a solid curriculum with the proper steps in mind. Did you create all of your own resources or turn to someone or something for help? Definitely feeling that lack of control in class and trying to remind myself that my self love is not attached to my failures this year.
Yes, it can be so hard to remember that your worth is not attached to your performance when you’re in the middle of struggling. I’m sorry your year has been hard, Amanda. Maybe switching to the elementary level will be a nice change of pace for you. To answer your question, yes, I create everything myself. No employees or other teachers to help. Every word is my own (with the exception of some of the music in my most recent set of lessons I’m in the process of creating). Feel free to shoot me an email at emilyconroy4@gmail.com if you would like more information about my products or if you’d just like someone to vent to 🙂
I start my new job as a teacher tmrw. And you have no idea how your word brought peace in my life and ease for tmrw. Thank you for sharing this
Aw, thank you so much for taking the time to tell me, Jezika. I guess that means that you are at your first day of work as I am writing this! I hope it goes well and that the peace you felt after reading my post continues throughout the year. Feel free to keep me updated on how you are doing!
Hi Emily. Thank you for your blog post here. I just read it. Helpful. I’ve been involved in music education for the past fifteen years, but I’m two years into a new and demanding K-6 music public school position, in metro-Omaha. I’m heading into my third year, and it’s been challenging. I’ve been emotionally unhealthy for years and trying to get my life together with God, my marriage and family, and with my new position and professional life. This month of July, I took both Kodaly Level I and Orff Level I (just finished!); this training has been awesome, but it’s also overwhelming of what to focus on heading into a critical third year. I want to have peace as a K-6 Music Teacher, but I often get overwhelmed and tons of anxiety once the school-year hits. Classroom management and keeping up with everything professionally also is problematic for me. I’m praying that this school-year is a break-through year.
Again, I really appreciate your post! -Nate
Thanks so much for telling me a little bit about your life, Nate, and congratulations on finishing Kodaly and Orff Level 1! After I read your post, I decided to pray for you for a few minutes. As I was praying, a few different thoughts popped into my mind. I have no idea if any of this will help you or mean anything, but I thought I would share them:
Have you thought much about why you are a music teacher? If you had to choose one main reason for teaching your students, what would it be? You mentioned that you have been trying to improve your relationship with God, and I believe that honoring God is (or should be) the main purpose for everything we do in life, including our career. But it is so easy to let our work become more important to us than God. We get focused on the outcome of performances, the methodology we are using to teach, our status among the other teachers in our building, and our pride (or lack of confidence) in our abilities, and God starts to take a backseat. I could absolutely be wrong, but my gut tells me that you need to let go of your desire to be a good music teacher and replace it with a desire to be closer to Jesus. That’s not to say that you stop working hard and doing your best but rather that you start the process of releasing all of your desires and fears (related to teaching) to God and emotionally let go of your career.
That’s easier said than done, but I think it’s important. The other thing I thought as I was praying is that even if all of your biggest fears come true this year (your performances go horribly, you don’t teach Kodaly or Orff well, your co-workers hate you, etc.), everything will still be okay. I have no idea if you struggle with fears at all, but that popped into my head, so I thought I would share it. Your students will go on with their lives, everyone will eventually forget all of your failures (except for maybe you :)), and your worth as a person will be the same (since your worth has nothing to do with your performance at your job).
Thank you so much for letting me know that you liked my blog post. I have a history of struggling with anxiety, so I can empathize with what you are going through. I’ll try to remember to pray for you from time to time this year.
Thank you for sharing this post. I have been teaching math and science for 8 years and will be teaching music for the first time this year. I have an extensive musical background but it wasn’t my major in college so I feel so unprepared for this new. I just bought a bunch of your resources on TpT so that will help a lot. This post made me feel much more confident about what I need to do this year…especially the goals and saying no.
Yes, it is definitely true that being a musician is not the same thing as teaching music. There is a difference between making music and teaching it-for sure! I’m glad that this post has given you a little more confidence and direction. Just try to remember to go easy on yourself this year. It’s okay if you’re not the best music teacher in the world at first. Also, thanks so much for buying my products. I hope they help you and that your kids enjoy them 🙂
Thank you, Thank you, Thank you! I needed to hear all this! I keep reminding myself over and over: God does not called the equipped, He equips the called. I feel like I’m going to need to have little reminders of this all over my world for this year 🙂 First year, but I’ve been waiting my entire 51 years of living for this. I’m finally aligned with what I’ve always felt called to do and I need to remember to trust. Thank you so much for putting this out here for me to find on Pinterest! <3
Aw, that is so awesome to hear. Yes, remember to trust…and to go easy on yourself. I think God will be pleased with you for doing what He has apparently been telling you to do for a long time, and I don’t think He expects perfection. I hope this year goes great for you and that it brings you closer to God. Thank you so much for letting me know how much my post helped you. Feel free to stay in touch throughout the year!
Thank you.for this! It’s taken me 27 years, but finally I am at the point where I know my value comes from my status as a dearly loved child.of God and my performances are for an audience of 1! I like your focus.on rhythm and music literacy and that will truly help me. Thanks for your transparency. I believe we can be the safe, happy place for.our students where they are unconditionally loved!
It does take time sometimes doesn’t it? I’m so glad you are able to believe that, Donna, and not put too much pressure on yourself to perform perfectly. What a blessing. Thanks for letting me know that you got something out of my post. It makes my day!
Finally…someone who feels/felt the way I do. I taught elementary music way back in the early 90’s after teaching high school and middle school band. I quickly learned that I need more structure in the classroom and went on to earn an early childhood certificate. God had other plans for me, and I ended up teaching high school chorus. I went kicking and crying but learned to love it! Now after 17 years, and with the help of a bitter HR woman, a selfish band director, and a new principal, I’ve been sent back to elementary music. I love teaching elementary music, but I do not love teaching it to elementary children. They have changed so much! Discipline is giving me anxiety, stress, nightmares! I can’t get them to close their mouths long enough to learn anything. I have never been around such a bunch of rude, loud, insane people in my life, and I am at two different schools with the same type of students. That also means I have 2 of everything including choirs, programs, principals, newsletters, schedules, observations, etc. I am miserable. I am curious as to what you do now, is it music or counciling. If counciling, what made you leave music? One of my principals is a former related arts teacher. I am finding more and more that music teachers leave to find other positions. I’m also reminded of why I got an early childhood certificate……so I wouldn’t have to teach music! Music is my passion, but I am drained and exhausted trying to make it matter to others. I am also worn out on working in my school district. Too many teacher demands, hoops, etc. to make things meaningful to students. Any suggestions? I also appreciate your prayers and the prayers of anyone reading this.
I don’t know if your HR director and administrator realize this, but you are basically being asked to change careers after 17 years. That is so hard! There is such a huge difference between teaching high school music and elementary music. I actually create resources for TPT and blog full-time, so I’m not officially using either of my degrees although they come in handy both in blogging and creating resources. I started my Master’s in counseling while teaching (at a time when I was also pretty miserable at my job). But there was a huge turn-over in staff at my building the next year, and I ended up learning to really enjoy most of my job. I quit when I found out that I wouldn’t be able to finish my Masters and work full time. During the period of time when I was unhappy, there were a mixture of reasons. Classes were stressful due to a lot of severe behavior problems, my classroom management was mediocre, staff relations were strained at best, I was taking on too much (namely an all-school Christmas concert), and I wasn’t a Christian yet.
Your situation has several really difficult factors:
1. You are starting a new career which means you probably feel similarly to how a first year teacher typically feels. This means that most importantly, you need to give yourself permission to fail repeatedly for the next two to three years. It’s not that you shouldn’t try your best, but you should also realize that it is totally normal to be average at a job you haven’t done in 17 years!
2. It sounds like you have some severe behavior problems at both schools. This is another great opportunity to give yourself a break and not expect perfection. It took me four years and a lot of time investing into the students at my school before I started to gain control over my classes. With that said, there are some things you can do to make your life easier. You probably need to be really structured. I would recommend having a routine for literally every single thing in your classroom (how students enter, when they are allowed to talk, etc). I would also recommend having assigned seats for every single students in BOTH of your schools. I know this sounds crazy, but it helped me with classroom management more than anything else. My blog post titled “7 tips for new elementary music teachers” has some more specific ideas for classroom management.
3. You are traveling. Ug. I feel for you there. I traveled my first year and did not enjoy it. I’m not sure how much flexibility you have with planning programs, but if you are able to omit any of your programs, do it!!! I have always felt that if a district is going to require a music teacher to plan DOUBLE the programs, there should be extra compensation considering the large amount of time it takes. If your district has performance opportunities for certain grades (like a district wide concert for a certain grade) consider omitting your school concert for that grade since they already have a performance opportunity. You might also consider renting the stage at your high school and combining certain grades from both schools to decrease the number of concerts you have.
4. I wouldn’t worry about making music matter to others. It is best to simplify your job and focus on only the most important things so that your life is less stressful and so that you have more energy for your students. It is also important to focus on loving your students, especially the ones who are struggling emotionally. If your principal and the other teachers at your school don’t value you or the subject you teach, try to forgive them and let it go. Remember that your worth doesn’t come from them, it comes from God.
Here is the prayer I just prayed for you (roughly): “God, please help Kim to weed out the things in her life and career that are unhealthy or insignificant. I want her main focus in life to be loving and talking to you. If there is anything in her job that is causing her to be anxious or fearful, please give her the wisdom and strength to release that thing to you so that the two of you can be close again.”
If you happen to be a Christian, here is a section from Philippians 4-9 that has helped me a lot lately, “Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me-practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.”